Writer’s Block??

For the past few days, Michael has been asking me “what’s up with your blog?” or “why haven’t you posted?”… Truth is, I didn’t really think that I had anything to blog about. There hasn’t been anything “news worthy” that’s happened since the wedding so I’ve been kind of stuck. Then when I truly sat down to think about it, all kinds of things have been happening. It’s amazing how much we overlook things because they seem simple when they truly aren’t. Here I am going through some pretty awesome emotions, yet I’ve downgraded their importance because… heck, IDK why.

First things first, people keep asking me “how does it feel to be married?” and I’ve been quick to reply “it feels the same”. That’s so quick to roll off the tongue but it’s not true. So I’m sorry to all of the people that I’ve inadvertently lied to. The fact of the matter is, it feels different. As it should, right? I mean, marriage is a big deal! After the wedding is over and the attention isn’t all on you anymore, that’s when the real work begins. I think that Michael and I both feel different, our actions have truly been different, and we have a new level of respect for one another. Prior to us going through counseling and then getting married, we would both make decisions and then inform the other once the decision has been made. Now it’s more of a conversation and each of us understanding that WE need to determine what’s best for US. To sum it all up; it feels AMAZING to be married! It gives you a new outlook on what it means to be in love, and it’s definitely shown me a different side of myself. I’ve been more emotional (in a good way) since we’ve gotten married. A prime example is when we received our wedding video I couldn’t wait to get home and watch it! As soon as the scene came on that featured our first look, I cried like a baby. All the way through the ceremony and reception. It brought back so many memories of sheer love and happiness that are contained within May 6, 2017. I think the most emotional part(s) for me were watching my sister, cousins, and besties (minus 1 – who was working super hard at the venue to help get things ready) help me get into my dress & laughing because of something funny that Jamakian likely said, lol! The second most emotional part of it was standing there waiting for the green light to let Michael see me. I remember standing there LITERALLY shaking with emotion. In that moment I looked over to the camera and said “I just want him to know that I love him so much. A LOT.” [ya’ll, I’m crying just thinking about it]. In that moment I needed someone to come over and calm me down, Kieara couldn’t come because we both would’ve been standing there with mascara running down our cheeks lol!! And lastly, just watching how completely overcome with emotion I was as my uncle & I were preparing to walk down the aisle. Once we got to the front, my uncle had to place his hand on mine to keep me from shaking! AGHHHHH… IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! Let me get myself together before I completely lose it while sitting in this office!

Phew, I’m okay.

Secondly, since I’ve been focusing on drinking water, taking care of my hair, and minding my business life has been great! LOL! Most of you know that I am a hair product junkie so I’ve been trying to find products that work perfectly on my hair. Here lately I’ve fallen in love with the Mielle Organics line! Their Babassu Oil shampoo and deep conditioner are amaze-balls! I follow that process up with their White Peony leave in conditioner and layer the moisturizing Avocado Hair Milk on top of that. It’s made a huge difference in way that my hair feels! I made the mistake of allowing a harsh shampoo to be used on my hair a few month ago and since then I struggled with my hair feeling stiff. I found these Mielle products at Target and tried those, since then my stylist has even noticed a difference in how my hair feels. Drinking water has also proven to be effective as well. I’ve been trying to drink at least 1 bottle of water an hour while I’m awake so that I can clear up my skin! I’ve experienced crazy breakouts since the wedding and I truly can’t understand why! I finally broke down and purchased the Rodan and Fields Unblemish line to see if that helps. So far my skin seems to have gotten worse BUT from all of the testimonials I’ve seen (and the advice of my consultant), it seems to be normal. I’m just ready to stop looking like a pubescent boy, haha. I’ll keep everyone updated on the progress. And lastly for this update, minding my business has been PHENOMENAL! There’s much less stress when you let go of the mess! *two snaps and a neck roll* LOL!

So as you can see, I haven’t truly had writer’s block… I just haven’t taken a moment to really capture what’s been happening. I have to get out of the habit of discounting my experiences. If it weren’t for the hubby, I probably would’ve gone weeks thinking that I didn’t have anything to talk about it. This is what I meant in my post in April about him pushing me to be better. He’s my biggest supporter and it means the world to me!

XOXO –

Antionesha

PS: If you haven’t already checked out the video clips that have been posted on social media, here are the links:

 

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